Camp Massacre

 B-grade horror comedy that mixes Biggest Loser reality shows with slasher camp tropes and somehow works, despite its limitations, low budget, lack of stars and long running time.

The movie in fact starts with a scene that has nothing to do with the film but does have Bree Olsen naked (surprise!) in the shower doing a Psycho tribute just long enough to get her name on the DVD sleeve.

It’s then that the movie actually begins. Taking the Biggest Loser format and calling it “By the Pound”, we have a bunch of large, mainly unlikeable fellas, including a goth, an aging rapper, a gay guy, two meathead prankster brothers, a mafia type bully, a Hispanic and some other nondescript types on an island trying to lose weight and win a million bucks.

There’s also the nice fat boy Jeremy (Nick Huntsman) and the nurse Stefani (Megan Hunt) so we have our obligatory love interest. And then we have the slimy host/presenter Warren W. Gilley (played by director Jim O’Rear) and his long suffering assistant Natalie (Ava Cronin) as well as other sundry types, doctor, fitness instructor, drunk old guy.

What they all don’t realise though is that a killer lurks amongst them, a killer who wears a fried chicken bucket on his head and carries a plastic machete!  Seriously it is so fake it’s hilarious.

Despite the plastic weapons, Buckethead sets about taking out the contestants one by one, with lots of old skool blood squibs and animal intestines thrown into the mix including the bulimic fitness instructor who really does bust a gut.

With contestants disappearing, our erstwhile director decides to call in his special security man – Al Snow! And I gotta say the fight between Al and Buckethead is better than anything he’s done in the ring in the last decade.  Al takes the fall though, cos he’s that kinda guy, a man who is fine pushing the heel and so of course Warren decides to cover up things and sends the remaining contestants to a bar with some fatty-fucker babes while he cleans up the mess.

There’s more boobs (some of them belong to gals), more killings, some seriously great lines, some dumb lines, more blood squibs and intestines and a totally fuggin’ daft twist for the killer’s reveal before the climactic and very funny ending.

Seriously this movie should not work.  It is far too long (clocking in at two friggin’ hours), there’s far too much man flesh on display, half the jokes are puerile, the killer wears a fucking fried chicken bucket on his head and most of the cast are unlikeable prats.  And yet, somehow it does work, the good jokes are good, the two prankster bros Greg (writer/co-director Daniel Emery Taylor) and Andy (T.J. Moreschi) have a great chemistry and hold it all together and the ending just works, don’t ask me why, I can’t really tell you, but it does.  It shouldn’t but it does. Hell I even wrote down in my notes, “why am I laughing?!”

Sure the movie, much like the main stars, would have been better if there was less to see, sure the intro with a naked Bree was (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) not even needed but fans of ‘dumb ass, b-grade, let’s drink a shot for every stupid line, this shouldn’t work but it does’ type movies will enjoy themselves.  You might too. Bonus kudos to Jim O’Rear for the music – we are talking solidly daft 80s hair metal scenario dudes!


  • Trailer

Available on DVD from MVD Visual

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