The Hostess Also Likes to Blow the Horn

The Hostess Also Likes to Blow the Horn

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Do you remember the scene in the remake of Friday the 13th when Jason kills the girl by slamming a machete through her head from on top of the pier? Or what about the scene in Drag Me to Hell where the little boy is dragged through the floor down to the bowels of hell? You may be asking yourself “what do those scenes have to do with The Hostess Also Likes To Blow The Horn? Well, NOTHING really. It’s just my way of delaying the inevitable and having to THINK about this film again.

Shoot me in the eyes with Tabasco sauce. Pickle my testicles. Put my fingers in a meat-grinder…any of those pain-inducers would be LESS painful than having to sit through this tedious soft-core romp again. “Director” Franz Antel couldn’t direct traffic let alone a feature film…imagine Ray Dennis Steckler WITHOUT skill and you’re well on your way. I wouldn’t trust Antel with the film on my TEETH!!

In short, we ALL hate paying tax but it’s a necessary evil. Set in the town of Tursa the film involves greedy town leaders and their desire to tax all and sundry as much as possible. At first it’s your usual run-of-the-mill taxes but soon builds to taxing bathing, eating certain foods, nudity, sex, pretty much anything you can think of. Each time a tax is invoked a cheesy watermark flashes on the screen and describes what is being taxed. An uprising of sorts takes place when the inn owner sets up a brothel masquerading as a place of prayer. This is where the horny townsfolk can come and indulge in their carnal desires without being taxed.

Despite that (ahem) fascinating premise, the film really is a study in tedium. There’s only soft-core nudity, no real humour (deliberate or otherwise) and it’s an hour and a half on my life I’ll never get back. The only saving grace is that Antel died in 2007 hence relieving me of the necessity to kill him myself.

DIRECTOR(S): Franz Antel | COUNTRY: Netherlands | YEAR 1970 | DISTRIBUTOR(S): MVD | RUNNING TIME: 91 minutes 

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