Camp Massacre

 B-grade horror comedy that mixes Biggest Loser reality shows with slasher camp tropes and somehow works, despite its limitations, low budget, lack of stars and long running time.

The movie in fact starts with a scene that has nothing to do with the film but does have Bree Olsen naked (surprise!) in the shower doing a Psycho tribute just long enough to get her name on the DVD sleeve.

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David Cronenberg is a hugely respected and admired filmmaker, with a catalogue of festival awards and critical and box office success. He attracts A-list talent for his movies, which are always thought-provoking and met with wide intellectual appreciation.

But this was not always the case.

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Flesh for the Inferno

From the team that brought you The Disco Exorcist comes this fucked up, demonic, nunsploitation tale that has a real Lucio Fulci vibe to it.  Our story kicks off in 1999 when a kiddy fiddling priest at St. Christopher Middle School is confronted by the nuns who know what he’s been doing.  Things don’t quite go as planned though and once Mother Superior is dispatched with, our errant priest does an Edgar Allen Poe and walls the nuns up in the basement!  Jump to 2015 and a local church youth group come along to spend a weekend cleaning up the now derelict school. Continue reading

The Blood Shed

The Blood Shed is a horror-comedy about a hillbilly/cannibal family from New Jersey called the Bullions. Beefteena Bullion (director Alan Rowe Kelly) is turning 12, and her family are organising a birthday party for her. Beefteena is really an overweight old man, with Shirley Temple curls, Mary-Jane shoes, and a fashion sense derived from the 1930’s comic Little Lulu. Her brothers Hubcap and Butternut are just as messed up as Beefteena, and their pastimes include shooting squirrels, drinking beef broth and running around in bear and pig suits. Other family members include Papa Elvis Bullion and the catatonic Grandma Bullion.The Bullions are a bunch of murderous cannibals, with no morals or values. Continue reading

Blood Slaughter Massacre

A low budget homage to the splatter/stalker pics of the 80s from director Manny Serrano, this film has its faults, mostly due to budget restraints, but somehow it still works.

The movie kicks off with a pre-credit birthday party for a local judge whilst a mysterious ‘someone’ lurks in the bushes.  When two cops (Jim and Walter) check on an anonymous call about screams at the party they stumble onto a massacre and poor old Jim gets knifed by the maniac. Roll the opening credits and we now find ourselves 10 years into the future (the 80s!) where Jim and Walter are now detectives and someone has started carving up teenagers and taking bits of them. Teenagers who are related to the original massacre victims.  It seems ‘The Ripper’ is back and stalking new victims.  It also seems that the town officials whitewashed the original massacre, claiming a house fire killed everyone at the party.

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Australian low budget Yowie movie that was made on a budget so low you wouldn’t believe it was possible and still comes up with the goods!

Starting with a prologue that’s ‘Finding Bigfoot meets Mad Dog Morgan’ we find ourselves in the Australian gold-fields of 1825 where notorious bush-ranger Thunderclap Newman is about to meet his maker before we switch to the modern day and two eager treasure hunters, Jack (Shawn Brack) and Kent (Anthony Ring), who are hot on the trail of Newman’s lost stash. Continue reading

Jennifer’s Body

I’ll just put it out there and say that I wasn’t expecting much from Jennifer’s Body. I hated Juno sooo much. It was a self-indulgent and awkwardly scripted film. I was expecting Jennifer’s body to be similar in terms of having an annoyingly quirky script or full of “I’m so cool because I know about this (insert band, artist, film)” blah blah blah pop references. It wasn’t anything like Juno which is great.

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Tombs of the Blind Dead

tombs-blind-deadThe four entries in the Blind Dead series of films, all of them directed by the late Amando de Ossorio between 1972 – 1975, made for some of the most effective horror fare to come out of Europe that decade. Inspired by the legend of the Knights Templar (an order who flourished in the 14th Century before being disbanded following charges of heresy and witchcraft), the Blind Dead films thrive on atmosphere, haunting visuals and a disturbing sense of creeping dread, mixed in with a healthy dose of swinging seventies pop style and fashions – big hair, knee-high go-go boots, mini-shirts, short shorts, long sideburns and bell-bottom jeans.

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